Tuesday, February 21, 2006

11 things you never want to hear

1. "Oh Mommy, I forgot to tell you about the milk I spilled in the backseat. It happened last week."
2. "I'll hold that door for you Mam'." spoken by a young, shapely 18 year old as she held the door for me at a gas station.
3. "Honey, did you pack the ___________?" Fill in the blank with something you forgot for the trip. It's always the first thing needed once you get on the road.
4. "Mom, I'm sorry I poked a hole in your big green yoga ball." Imagine finding a sad carcas of a large green exercise ball behind a chair in the master bedroom after the guilt monster made a 4 year old boy spontaniously confess to a crime I didn't know about.
5. "Wow, you've certainly got your hands full..."
6. "My Iceeeeeeeee....oh no, it went into the back trunk area."
7. On the answering machine, "This is X from the school foundation organization. We are gathering the special projects for the silent auction and need them by X date. How is yours coming?"
8. "Grace has gotten out of her seatbelt again Mom."
9. "What is that smell?"
10. "Hey Mom, watch this!" This phrase is usually followed by some superhuman feat which is not socially acceptable.
11. "I *HAVE* controlled myself, haven't I Mom? Tell Jordan I am in control."


Jeremy said...

All too familiar.

Caroline said...

I have been there


jill b said...

Um. Right! By the way, I've never heard ANY of those things. I'm just agreeing with you to be nice.


Ann said...

I forgot one...
My hairdresser saying (as she was waxing my eyebrows), "You are one of the few people I would ever recommend waxing above the eyebrow, but you really need it."

I guess all you guys wouldn't understand. I should look on the bright side...at lease she wasn't talking about a female mustache. ;-)