Tuesday, March 04, 2008

finding the time

Yesterday I was at soccer practice for William. It's only our second practice so I am getting to know the mothers who were all together last season. I sat there talking with two sweet women who were probably 5 years younger than me. As we spoke the first woman talked about taking time to go on a date with her husband that weekend. The second woman gasp and said that she was never able to find time to either date her husband or ever wanted to leave her dear children. In fact, she said that once she left for a church led women's retreat weekend and came back early because she missed them so much.

I know from previous conversations that this woman homeschools both of her children. That alone is not an issue with me, but I began to wonder if she ever finds a quiet moment for herself or her husband? I suppose it got me thinking about the all consuming nature of motherhood. That is the one thing I was not prepared for when I became a mother. I am thankful that Dave has made our dates a priority thoughout the years. Six years ago, while I was still surrounded by nursing infants and little ones (have I left these stages yet???) he made it clear that we needed to find time for a monthly date. I cannot tell you how much this has meant to me through all these changes. He was right to do this and even more right to encourage me to maintain our relationship as partners.

I'll admit that finding a quiet moment is tricky among our household chaos, but I've been trying to recapture this more often. I need time to study my Bible properly, I need time to pray meaningfully, and I need time to remember who I am outside of Mommy. At first glance this all seems so selfish...but I think we need to feed our minds and souls while still in the midst of motherhood. So, I'm just wondering how you feel about all these things? How do you recharge yourself and your relationship with your husband? Do you think it is important? How do you make time?


Caroline said...

Wow things are gearing up for sports all ready. We are getting ready for baseball here. I know the parents from our team. I don't know if I could survive if I didn't have a date night. When I have gone on retreats, sometimes I just being alone so much I don't want to come back.

I feel it is important, actually imperative that a couple has time for themselves, a time to recharge and reconnect with one another.

Anonymous said...

I've always admired Dave for taking the lead in this...so often it is the female half of the couple who sees this as more of a priority. I think it is so important and I have fond memories of my parents going out on date nights and how my Mom was dressed up and smelled nice. They continued to put their relationship first even with all the parenting stages and they have been truly blessed in their marriage as a result. Ryan and I struggle with finding the time but try to use a regular Kids Night Out program for the kids for date nights.
Keep enjoying date night!