Wednesday, March 12, 2008

a small gift

Oh my goodness, I think I've just had a true heart to heart with my big girl. Not that we haven't had serious talks before, but this one came out of nowhere and was simply "what was on her mind" in subject matter. Know what she was worried and upset about? How complex all the friendships and hierarchies were becoming in school. How people are different between school and home. How she doesn't really know what tier she fits into among her peers. Gulp and double gulp.

My heart ached for her. She has friends, lots of friends, but those relationships are becoming more complicated. Girls and their insecurities become very pronounced at the end of elementary school. I didn't discount her concerns or patronize her. I know the frustration is real. She's gotten ridiculed for befriending a few outcasts or new people. She knows its the right thing to do and yet cannot understand why others are being petty. She feels different because of the way she processes ideas and approaches problems.

I still wonder why certain people are still playing these games into their 40's, don't you? I've often felt comfortable among many groups and at the same time I know I am different than others. I suppose we all are never quite a perfect fit...

What a tender hearted almost 11 year old. I pray she will always keep that heart kind and caring, thoughtful and insightful. I dread what is ahead, but as I told her tonight I believe that God has already planned great things for her spiritually and academically in life. Her job is to move through these day to day distractions with that ultimate goal in mind. She was crying thankful tears when we finished. She seemed almost relieved that I had felt these feelings before her. I was reminded tonight that fifth graders have deep worries and concerns just like adults.

3 comments:

Caroline said...

What an opportunity!! It is wonderful that she is sharing these things with you. And let me tell you it is not just 40's it is also 50's thru 65. In my work unbelievable. I know Alia is getting close to that.

bikegirl2 said...

"She seemed almost relieved that I had felt these feelings before her."

My immediate thought when I read this sentence was "isn't it great to know that Jesus has felt these feelings before me?"

What a great opportunity you had to share in the life of your daughter and to get to be Jesus for her.

Claudia said...

You are so fortunate to be mothering such a thoughtful and kind-hearted child. I have absolutely no doubts about where those traits come from...